A flower must sometimes bend in order to reach the sunlight to sustain its life force! Sometimes we must bend to find our own light for the same reason! ~jacqui
A flower must sometimes bend in order to reach the sunlight to sustain its life force! Sometimes we must bend to find our own light for the same reason! ~jacqui
Are you ready for your ‘what’s next’ moment? Did you know there is always a ‘what’s next’ moment?
If you believe that you’ve already reached your apex, that the best things in life have already come and gone, you need to revisit all those ‘I want to be this by this age’, ‘I’d really like to’, ‘Man, wouldn’t it be a hoot to’, ‘I’ve always wanted to’ mental notes you stored away over the years in your SOMEDAY file. Sometimes, when you take a second look at that file, you’ll find something in there that you never got the opportunity to try for because the time never met up with the opportunity or visa versa. Or maybe you did give something a shot and it failed to come to fruition so you gave up. Did you ever consider back then that maybe it just wasn’t the right time to go for it because you might have needed more experience to make it happen then.
That said, we’re talking about now. Your new now! Your post 50 milestone! Your new badass self! Maybe this is the time when you’re contemplating what to do with the rest of your life. Your next move! Your next chapter! Your next adventure! So take a moment right now to revisit that someday file! Kind of exciting isn’t it? Maybe you could give that ‘thing’ a try again because you’re better prepared now. You’ve learned over the years how to see options better and understand that there may be several approaches to it, not just a set-in-stone road you took back then!
Complacency and tolerance are easy prey when you start trusting that things won’t work out, that it was just not meant to be, that it should never have been ‘your’ dream or desire or thing in the first place, or that it’s too late. Timing is everything, yes, but I believe that there comes a time when you get to flip that hourglass so that sand that’s falling now becomes a visual cue to discover all that’s new ahead of you. The world has changed vastly over the past decade, and while some opportunities may have slipped from your reach, many more have arrived. All you have to do is be willing to use all your talents, combined with all the life lessons you’ve learned along the way, to chase a few of those things now!
Your next chapter can be even more fun after 50 because the early stuff, raising a family, working, etc., that’s all water under the bridge. You are wiser and braver having survived all that came with your earlier life! You’re still bloody standing!!! You deserve a fucking trophy for that, don’t you think? So, it doesn’t make sense for you to think there’s nothing left for you to do! This is the time to rev your engine, to reboot, to decide you are deserving of a fulfilled life!
Fifty, or as some call it, the halfway mark, is a great time to rekindle your soul and your spirit. Marry that rekindling to your brain and heart and soon you’ll be able to think more along the lines of, ‘The best has yet to come’! Look out world, I have arrived………again!’ All that bullshit running loose in your head, here’s your new motto to address that—hear me now—get out of my way—I’m comin through!
Don’t ever let yourself become satisfied with being stuck just because you’ve been stuck and you decided to settle for or tolerate that. Boredom and self-doubt often leads you directly to those depressed thoughts, horrible self-talks, why me thinking, and guess what, those depressed thoughts start piling up like a stack of bills you’re not sure you can pay off! You may not even realize that some of the thoughts you’re internalizing are the very thing that is setting limits for you! Yes, that sneaky-ass subconscious mind continuously mines for those thoughts, and those thoughts filter pretty quickly into your conscious mind when you’re on the fence about something. Why, you wonder? Because it gives you all the excuses you need to stop yourself from taking any unnecessary chances or risks! The subconscious is the party pooper of all time and is always embattled with your gut instincts! Your gut is a fucking genius! Pay attention to it!
But!!! Wait a minute! Who say’s you don’t want more now that you’re over 50? I know I do! I feel like I’m just getting started! I want you to feel that way too!
If you want to awaken your soul, you have to cut the cord to old thinking and the ‘not me’ dialogue you let run and repeat in your head. You need to flip that coin. You need to start talking the ‘why not me’ talk until it douses the subconscious flame that’s holding you back from empowering yourself, from doing the things you want to do, to being that person you want to be, to reaching those goals you want to reach! You want to build a fire—build one on self-awareness and one that makes you open your eyes so you see your value and worth at this age. You have to realize how much you have to give because of your fifty plus years of experience! What’s come and gone has come and gone! If you’re letting your past be your wheelhouse, please, please, please—stop scratching an old itch that’s healed. Let it go! Now is your time to shift!
Here’s how you do that:
#1 STOP letting yourself feel tired and worn out all the time because of what you’ve been through! We’ve all been through something! Why are you still letting it bother you now when it over and long gone? You grew up—put it away now!
START allowing yourself to explore the idea of changing those feelings by deciding you don’t have to stick to them any longer, because the longer you do, the more powerless you will feel. You grew up. It’s time to move on, move forward! It’s time to wake up!
#2 STOP thinking you can’t be what or where you dreamed you’d be!
START thinking you have everything, the knowledge, the wisdom, and the wherewithal you need to transform your life now. Believing in yourself is the first step! Doing something new does not have to be that ‘scary moment’ all the time. Nervous energy, when used as stimulant, can propel you forward. Don’t be a scaredy cat, because a scaredy cat never gets the mouse!
#3 STOP thinking, ‘what if I fail?’ If you start out thinking with this thought, how is that giving you an opportunity to change and grow and get what you want now?
START thinking, ‘I know there’s a possibility that this won’t work out, but I’m going to give it a shot anyway because, if I don’t, this moment might slip away right before my eyes and I’ll never know how it would have turned out!’ You don’t always have to know the outcome up front—you just have to be willing to bet on you and just go for it because, the reality is, you really have nothing to lose!
How many times have you said to yourself—“Man, I should have jumped on that opportunity when I had the chance?” I’ve certainly said that to myself plenty of times, but now that I’ve surpassed fifty, I take a closer look at everything that gives me an opportunity to feel better, get better, and be better and I jump in full throttle! That’s what I want for you as well! I want you to be willing to jump in more often than not just to see how it will actually turn out!
Now is the time in your life to shake things up, to open the door to those ‘I always wanted to do’ things. We might not be as spry as our younger selves, but nothing beats experience! Be BRAVE! Throw some of those irons into the fire and see what lights up! It’s your time to rise and to shine!
I hope this little piece gives you a starting point to consider how you want this second half to go!
Good morning all!!! Yesterday my first single played on the radio!! How amazing!!! Thank you Richard Edwards for including me in your stellar list of artists! And thank you Woodward Avenue Records for having faith in me and in this project!! Now comes the really fun part!
I’m getting ready to start working on my CD! After 40 years of being together with Paul Brown, we are now going to work together in the studio for the first time creating this very inspired project!
My day job is life coaching, and I work with hundreds of mother’s of addicts, helping them resolve some of the collateral damage that comes with raising a child that has become addicted/homeless/suicidal. I’m sort of an expert on the subject after 18 years of finding my own peace in that world. I do this all for FREE!
But now, I need your help!! I have the opportunity to work with some of the worlds greatest musicians on this project and that costs quite a bit of money! Every level of donation has a perk so you will always get something in return.
By becoming a community of helpers, we can change the world! Thank you so much for helping me get this off the ground!!!
Squeeeeee…… Today is the day my debut song is available! (link below) This is the kickoff song to my upcoming CD. So yes, please buy it and help me help others. As a community that comes together for one or a thousand who have fallen, we CAN make the changes happen! PLEASE SHARE THIS MESSAGE SO WE CAN REACH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE! THANK YOU!!!!
Addiction can hit anyone and it can hit in the blink of an eye! My daughter was raised in a good, strong and loving family, but even with that all in place, the devil reached into our world and stole our beautiful, funny, kind and compassionate, daughter, and has held her hostage for the past 18 years.
There are too many daughters and sons out there who, because of the stigma surrounding addiction, are classified as terrible people with a character flaws rather than seeing that they are the lost and need help! We must change people’s minds about this because this is a life or death issue for our addicts!
The goal of this song, ‘Somebody’s Child’, is to raise awareness about a disease that has become a national crisis that claims the lives of 174 human beings every day. There is no outrage, no protests, just stigma and silence. If we all rise and use our voices, if we speak loud and clear about it, the hope is that we can make people understand that, rather than letting all these children become more invisible, shamed, or forgotten, we can collectively vie for better resources, education, and further research for finding a cure so we can end the attrition of these trapped human beings.
They need a voice to speak for them and I’ve chosen to be that voice because I believe in ‘first-do-no-harm‘, and so with my voice, I can further the work to save my daughter, your daughter, your son, your brother or sister or your friend. I believe this song can unlock the door for others going through this terrible disease so they can finally see, the time has come for them to stand up and scream—WE NEED HELP TO FIND A CURE FOR ADDICTION!
So, who knows? Life can be funny, you know.
Sometimes change can start with something as simple as a SONG!
@Woodward Avenue Records
Have you ever given serious thought to all of the goodness in your life, of all the beautiful things surrounding you, of all the wonderful people who have touched your life and made you a better person than you ever thought you could be?
If I had to judge my life, warts and all, I guess I’d have to say, “I’m winning” because I choose ‘win’ and let ‘lose’ go find its home elsewhere! ‘LOSE’ is no one’s friend. ‘LOSE’ is just another word for self-harm fueled by disrespect for yourself and for why you are here on this earth. ‘LOSE’ crushes hope, and without hope, life can suck the big one! There is not one person in the world that was born to live a life of grief or despair, even though both of those things touch our lives here and there.
I take stock of my life every now and then, more ‘now’ and less ‘then’ because every day when I wake up, I know I have another opportunity to leave the world and people, better than I found it or them! I have total control to turn myself on or turn myself off, just like a light switch. What I choose determines how my day will go. I will either serve my purpose or ignore my instincts. It’s about choices to better the world or let the world simmer in its own juices.
What that boils down to is that I’m going to give or I’m going to take. Giving is always my first choice because, through things I have suffered and survived, I have discovered this little gift of being able to listen to people’s suffering and can pinpoint the opportunities where the silver linings are present and actually working for them because they are there! You just may not see them yourself because you’ve placed your focus on what is wrong in your life instead of what is right in your life. When you decide ‘I can’t even’ rather than ‘what the hell, I’ve got nothing to lose’, it’s kind of hard to strike the match that wants to light the way for you! We’re all guilty of this sometimes because we believe we have no control over our circumstances! I’m here to tell you something you maybe forgot along the way – YOU DO HAVE CONTROL – and really, what your biggest downfall is, is not recognizing that, not honoring who and what and where and why you are here right now!
Just the fact that you woke up today is an honor even if you are filled with a disease of the body or a disease of the mind. Each day is a gift, an opportunity to find your silver linings and give them the respect they deserve because, when you do that, happiness arrives and edges out despair. That happiness crowds your soul, and when you keep adding to that crowd, you have no other option except to realize all those wonderful happy things you’re amassing, are turning happy into JOY, and JOY defeats burdens!
Your work should not be to consider all that brings you pain and fear. Your real work should be to consider all things and people who donate to your crowdfunding JOY center. When you take a good, honest, look around you, when you pause and let each of those happy moments knit themselves together rather than watching the world spin out of control around you, something inside of you will click. That click can be a subtle feeling of calm or a massive epiphany. Something in that click will change your perspective and allow you to celebrate the only moment you need. That moment is called NOW! Not yesterday! Not tomorrow! Just right now, with the very breath you are taking.
Right NOW is all any of us gets! What you do with this moment defines what your world really can look like.
If JOY is what you’re searching for, then please, step away from your pity party! Take a deep cleansing breath, let your shoulders relax, and let all those ‘what if’s’ that have no place in NOW, fade away! Accept that risk is an adventure – not an adversity! Challenge yourself to stay focused on creating more good than bad.
When you take control of this very moment, your ‘NOW’ moment, you have the opportunity to reinvent the perception of how good your life really is or can be!
Are you ready for that?
So, maybe you grew up under shitty conditions. Life sucked. You were trapped in these circumstances due to your age, or where you lived, or with whom you lived or were surrounded by. Does that mean that you have to bring that shit storm upbringing with you into adulthood?
Part of the answer is yes, part of it is no! How so, you wonder?
When you bring it with you in defiance of your past, it can act as a safeguard. It becomes the monitor for how you set your standards and what you hold yourself accountable for. It can serve as a guide while you’re reprogramming your brain and your lifestyle. It helps you self-regulate your choices. It keeps you accountable for your choices, actions, values, and how you go about chasing whatever it is you’re chasing.
Childhood trauma, or any trauma for that matter, occurs as a consequence of people’s decisions, choices, or circumstances. When you learn that you have the choice to realign your moral compass, and to face down every consequence for every choice you’ve made so you make that move fully informed, you will see that you have the power to change your life, even if you are just starting to do that now. Now means—never too late to turn things around!
Self-checking the amount of chaos and drama you surround yourself with is a pretty good way of determining whether you like being a passenger on the crazy train or not.
Sometimes, doing the right thing might make you feel less happy! Sounds a little crazy, right? But, when living in truth, or what I like to call ‘crisis prevention’ mode, the paycheck here is that, you don’t have to walk around with that foreboding feeling of fear and anxiety that often haunts you when you’ve chosen the easy thing instead of the right thing. What that translates to is, by doing the right thing, you’ve accrued some self-respect and you value your self-worth. By doing the right thing, you are regulating and realigning your circumstances, which by-and-large, eliminates all those dreaded surprises. On the flip side of that, when you are not doing the right thing, and you get so caught up in your own self-interest and the me, me, me’s by impulsively choosing something with no regard for the consequences, all you’re doing is continuing to create more traumatic results to deal with. If the easy thing is your current mode of operation, you are actually creating your own problem, all because you need an excuse for not doing something or taking some kind of action to create what you want from life.
Healing trauma cannot happen if you are not self-accountable!
So, how do you turn things around?
Well, first you have to slow down. You have to go deeper. You have to search every inch of your soul. And, you have to pay attention to your gut! Gut and soul are always storymates. Gut and soul will flush out the truth or expose all the fake bullshit you’re holding onto to for whatever reason you’ve told yourself you need to.
In order to change emotional circumstances, you have to hunt down everything about you that makes you feel alive and well. It’s like an emotional scavenger hunt because, sometimes, when you recognize one strength you hadn’t payed much attention to, you might find that there are more strong areas in your life than you were even aware of. You have to recognize your strengths and let them flourish rather than always counting on your weaknesses, your good old standby-so-you-have-an-excuse-to-glorify-the-bad-choices you may have previously made. (It’s not my fault! It’s never my fault! Hello Narcissism! )
Life has it’s highs and lows, but here’s the thing – if you can get comfortable with the lows as easily as you do the highs, you can make peace with it all as each high or low passes in and out of your life. You’ll see that the low periods are simply a time for thought, growth, and regrouping. That quiet reflection is really just a breather so you can prepare to create that new high you’re searching for.
If you constantly let the low’s win out, (‘oh my God, my life sucks’), you’ll soon discover that happy is not around the corner. You are the one putting miles and miles between you and that happy-right-around-the-corner place. How’s that for a little reality check? Feels a little stupid, doesn’t it? What you tell yourself during a low period determines how everything that you’re looking for around that corner, turns out. Simply said—by investing more of yourself in the lows, you’re assuring yourself that this is as good as it gets. You’re forcing your brain to forget about all the highs you’ve experienced. All the ‘wins’ you’ve got under your belt suddenly become shadowed by dark clouds. You stop letting them make you feel good so you can continue to wallow in pity. Why do that when you have options?
A low spot is almost always temporary! Like I said before, the low spots should only be vehicles for transformation. You have to learn to force yourself to re-evaluate what it’s really going to take to make you happy and them jump back up in the saddle.
Here’s a perfect example of the high’s and lows.
I recently did two comedy shows in one week. The first one knocked my socks off. Best show of my life. I felt like I was ready to have my own HBO special. The second show knocked my lights out. Worst show ever! Wrong venue, wrong crowd—absolutely. But, what I learned from that one single week was that I was a bounce back kind a chick. Rather than stewing in that ‘low’, which really, really, really, made me feel like crap, I got busy writing my ass off for the next week. Jokes were pouring out of me like a waterfall even though the memory of that horrid ‘cricket’ audience was burning a hole in my brain. It pushed me to grow instead of making me want to throw in the towel. That second ‘bomb’ show was actually a gift to remind me that, when the going gets tough, the tough get going, and I’m mother-fucking-tough! I actually thank every a-hole that sat in that audience because it made me rise to the occasion rather than sink in a hole of despair. And, all that took was for me to adapt my thinking so the high outweighed the low. My success could not, cannot, come from a place of complacency, and this experience was the exact kick in the ass I needed!
The lesson is—move on! Don’t dredge up and drag old shit along with you wherever you are in life now! Don’t let a bad day, a bad time, or a bad period in your life ruin everything in your now and in your future. Don’t let it create a life long problem where there is no respite! And please, please, please, don’t keep feeding kindling to a fire that should have long since burnt out! You are in charge of what you perceive to be your highs and lows! Change how you see them and you can change your life!