Failure: Is It Fact Or Fiction

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Every one of us has perceived failure in some ways throughout our lifetime. It could be a bad relationship, a job that has virtually no impact on your spirit or soul, or a little mistake you built into that disaster you can’t let go of. Some of these things make us judge our own character. We start believing that we shouldn’t believe in ourselves because, hell’s bells, it was a stupid idea that we were not prepared to handle anyway, right?

One small redirect in your thinking can change that mindset. If you look at yourself as an inventor, maybe my point will become clearer. An inventor conceives an idea for something. They plan it out, they start with a model, and then they begin the task of building and tweaking it. When you are creating something new in your life that you have never experienced before, there will always be things that don’t quite match your vision of how things should look. Those things are the tweaks. You toss out the things that don’t work and you start massaging the things that do until it makes you feel good and aligns with the spirit and soul, and vision you are feeding.

As with any change, you must be vigilant and persistent. Change requires action, full intent filled action. Anything less than that often makes you feel shortchanged (and adds yet another reason to quit).

What you should remember is, we all have the ability to plant a seed, but if that’s all you do, take that seed and stick in the dirt without nutrients, water, or sun, you’ve built a fail point right up front. Change and growth takes effort, action, determination, and persistence!

If you’re having trouble figuring out what exactly your life should look like, as yourself these questions:

  1. Will I, after working towards this goal, (job, school, business) be exactly where I thought I’d be?
  2. Will I be fulfilled or will I settling for mediocre because the going got tough?
  3. What could I let go off that would allow me to not hold myself back?
  4. Have I set an unrealistic goal that I already know is not likely to be reached?

Sometimes we set the initial bar too high, which translates into we already have given ourselves a perfect excuse for quitting. There’s a reason that old phrase ‘raising the bar’ is out there. The bar is like a ladder. You have to get on the first step to start. The goal can remain large but the bar is the second step and the third step…and so on till you reach that last and final step. Taking one step at a time means there is less chance to find all the good old excuses to stop yourself. You will, either naturally progress and feel happy, or you may realize that your goal was unrealistic. Pace yourself. If you stick to your plan and move up the ladder each time the opportunity arises, maybe five years from now you’ll look back and tell yourself it was all worth it. If you quit too soon, five years from now you’ll wonder…what if!

Don’t quit before you’ve even started! Give yourself a chance to trust the path you want to be on! Teach yourself to move around the potholes so you can see what you’re really made of!

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Challenges: Friend or Foe

Screen Shot 2018-10-29 at 9.13.13 PMIn life we are given opportunities sent under the guise of challenges. While we’re inside the center of that challenge, we often lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel because, well, sometimes what you’re facing is overwhelming or seemingly unbearable. When you reach that point, you’re going to do one of two things:

1. You’re going to continue to face it, push yourself to keep moving through it by summoning up those deeply seeded strengths (even if it feels like they are stretched to capacity), friend, or

2. You’re going to quit. You’re going to walk away with that feeling of doom causing the failure feeling to rise up in your heart and head. foe

When you push through, no matter how tough it feels, your logical brain has become hyper-focused on outcome rather than process. You recognize the light at the end of the tunnel is the last gate to navigate through in order to accomplish your goal, and while you may face a few mis-shots (failed attempts) you don’t settle for wandering off into the forest to die like a wounded animal. Nope! You lick your wounds, slap on a bandage, and proceed! Why? Because most challenges are temporary and they present you with lessons in trust, faith, and tenacity. That old adage ‘when the going gets tough, the tough get going’ should not only be the rule of thumb, it should be a daily mantra! Anyone who runs a business will tell you this, ‘challenges in various forms do not come along to do you in, they come along presenting you with a thinking opportunity’, or as I like to call it, a lesson to be learned from.

Keeping control of your emotions, rather than falling apart and walking away when things don’t work out as planned, is key! The most likely scenario is that there may be a missing component you may not yet have recognized that can or will change the outcome of that roadblock. What that boils down to is, it might just be a matter of time, a day, a week, a month, or even a year, to continue working through something before you see fruition. In the grand scheme of things, that small, limited amount of time, over a lifetime, may be looked at as a bump in the road rather than a total roadblock that’s impassible. You have to learn to look around to see what’s actually on the other side of that mountain that stands in your way. You have to try different routes, road, paths, or ideas to solve for X. If you can manage to just keep moving a little farther up the side of it (including the lessons learned sucky parts), you will eventually find the footing you need to get up and over it.

The Moral of the story:

Don’t quit too soon or you’ll never know if that one last ditch effort, that one day, week, month, or year would have made you successfully conquer that challenge you faced!

Success takes a lot of grit and persistence! Trust yourself and your plan!


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Be Like Nature…

A flower must sometimes bend in order to reach the sunlight to sustain its life force! Sometimes we must bend to find our own light for the same reason! ~jacqui


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Fabulous, Feisty & Famished After 50!

Are you ready for your ‘what’s next’ moment? Did you know there is always a ‘what’s next’ moment?


If you believe that you’ve already reached your apex, that the best things in life have already come and gone, you need to revisit all those ‘I want to be this by this age’, ‘I’d really like to’, ‘Man, wouldn’t it be a hoot to’, ‘I’ve always wanted to’ mental notes you stored away over the years in your SOMEDAY file. Sometimes, when you take a second look at that file, you’ll find something in there that you never got the opportunity to try for because the time never met up with the opportunity or visa versa. Or maybe you did give something a shot and it failed to come to fruition so you gave up. Did you ever consider back then that maybe it just wasn’t the right time to go for it because you might have needed more experience to make it happen then.


That said, we’re talking about now. Your new now! Your post 50 milestone! Your new badass self! Maybe this is the time when you’re contemplating what to do with the rest of your life. Your next move! Your next chapter! Your next adventure! So take a moment right now to revisit that someday file! Kind of exciting isn’t it? Maybe you could give that ‘thing’ a try again because you’re better prepared now. You’ve learned over the years how to see options better and understand that there may be several approaches to it, not just a set-in-stone road you took back then!


Complacency and tolerance are easy prey when you start trusting that things won’t work out, that it was just not meant to be, that it should never have been ‘your’ dream or desire or thing in the first place, or that it’s too late. Timing is everything, yes, but I believe that there comes a time when you get to flip that hourglass so that sand that’s falling now becomes a visual cue to discover all that’s new ahead of you. The world has changed vastly over the past decade, and while some opportunities may have slipped from your reach, many more have arrived. All you have to do is be willing to use all your talents, combined with all the life lessons you’ve learned along the way, to chase a few of those things now!


Your next chapter can be even more fun after 50 because the early stuff, raising a family, working, etc., that’s all water under the bridge. You are wiser and braver having survived all that came with your earlier life! You’re still bloody standing!!! You deserve a fucking trophy for that, don’t you think? So, it doesn’t make sense for you to think there’s nothing left for you to do! This is the time to rev your engine, to reboot, to decide you are deserving of a fulfilled life!


Fifty, or as some call it, the halfway mark, is a great time to rekindle your soul and your spirit. Marry that rekindling to your brain and heart and soon you’ll be able to think more along the lines of, ‘The best has yet to come’! Look out world, I have arrived………again!’ All that bullshit running loose in your head, here’s your new motto to address that—hear me now—get out of my way—I’m comin through!


Don’t ever let yourself become satisfied with being stuck just because you’ve been stuck and you decided to settle for or tolerate that. Boredom and self-doubt often leads you directly to those depressed thoughts, horrible self-talks, why me thinking, and guess what, those depressed thoughts start piling up like a stack of bills you’re not sure you can pay off! You may not even realize that some of the thoughts you’re internalizing are the very thing that is setting limits for you! Yes, that sneaky-ass subconscious mind continuously mines for those thoughts, and those thoughts filter pretty quickly into your conscious mind when you’re on the fence about something. Why, you wonder? Because it gives you all the excuses you need to stop yourself from taking any unnecessary chances or risks! The subconscious is the party pooper of all time and is always embattled with your gut instincts! Your gut is a fucking genius! Pay attention to it!


But!!! Wait a minute! Who say’s you don’t want more now that you’re over 50? I know I do! I feel like I’m just getting started! I want you to feel that way too!


If you want to awaken your soul, you have to cut the cord to old thinking and the ‘not me’ dialogue you let run and repeat in your head. You need to flip that coin. You need to start talking the ‘why not me’ talk until it douses the subconscious flame that’s holding you back from empowering yourself, from doing the things you want to do, to being that person you want to be, to reaching those goals you want to reach! You want to build a fire—build one on self-awareness and one that makes you open your eyes so you see your value and worth at this age. You have to realize how much you have to give because of your fifty plus years of experience! What’s come and gone has come and gone! If you’re letting your past be your wheelhouse, please, please, please—stop scratching an old itch that’s healed. Let it go! Now is your time to shift!


Here’s how you do that:


#1 STOP letting yourself feel tired and worn out all the time because of what you’ve been through! We’ve all been through something! Why are you still letting it bother you now when it over and long gone? You grew up—put it away now!


START allowing yourself to explore the idea of changing those feelings by deciding you don’t have to stick to them any longer, because the longer you do, the more powerless you will feel. You grew up. It’s time to move on, move forward! It’s time to wake up!


#2 STOP thinking you can’t be what or where you dreamed you’d be!


START thinking you have everything, the knowledge, the wisdom, and the wherewithal you need to transform your life now. Believing in yourself is the first step! Doing something new does not have to be that ‘scary moment’ all the time. Nervous energy, when used as stimulant, can propel you forward. Don’t be a scaredy cat, because a scaredy cat never gets the mouse!


#3 STOP thinking, ‘what if I fail?’ If you start out thinking with this thought, how is that giving you an opportunity to change and grow and get what you want now?


START thinking, ‘I know there’s a possibility that this won’t work out, but I’m going to give it a shot anyway because, if I don’t, this moment might slip away right before my eyes and I’ll never know how it would have turned out!’ You don’t always have to know the outcome up front—you just have to be willing to bet on you and just go for it because, the reality is, you really have nothing to lose!


How many times have you said to yourself—“Man, I should have jumped on that opportunity when I had the chance?” I’ve certainly said that to myself plenty of times, but now that I’ve surpassed fifty, I take a closer look at everything that gives me an opportunity to feel better, get better, and be better and I jump in full throttle! That’s what I want for you as well! I want you to be willing to jump in more often than not just to see how it will actually turn out!


Now is the time in your life to shake things up, to open the door to those ‘I always wanted to do’ things. We might not be as spry as our younger selves, but nothing beats experience! Be BRAVE! Throw some of those irons into the fire and see what lights up! It’s your time to rise and to shine!



I hope this little piece gives you a starting point to consider how you want this second half to go!

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Help me help everyone!

Good morning all!!! Yesterday my first single played on the radio!! How amazing!!! Thank you Richard Edwards for including me in your stellar list of artists! And thank you Woodward Avenue Records for having faith in me and in this project!! Now comes the really fun part!

I’m getting ready to start working on my CD! After 40 years of being together with Paul Brown, we are now going to work together in the studio for the first time creating this very inspired project!

My day job is life coaching, and I work with hundreds of mother’s of addicts, helping them resolve some of the collateral damage that comes with raising a child that has become addicted/homeless/suicidal. I’m sort of an expert on the subject after 18 years of finding my own peace in that world. I do this all for FREE!

But now, I need your help!! I have the opportunity to work with some of the worlds greatest musicians on this project and that costs quite a bit of money! Every level of donation has a perk so you will always get something in return.

By becoming a community of helpers, we can change the world! Thank you so much for helping me get this off the ground!!! 

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My Debut Single

Squeeeeee…… Today is the day my debut song is available! (link below) This is the kickoff song to my upcoming CD. So yes, please buy it and help me help others. As a community that comes together for one or a thousand who have fallen, we CAN make the changes happen! PLEASE SHARE THIS MESSAGE SO WE CAN REACH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE! THANK YOU!!!!

Addiction can hit anyone and it can hit in the blink of an eye! My daughter was raised in a good, strong and loving family, but even with that all in place, the devil reached into our world and stole our beautiful, funny, kind and compassionate, daughter, and has held her hostage for the past 18 years.

There are too many daughters and sons out there who, because of the stigma surrounding addiction, are classified as terrible people with a character flaws rather than seeing that they are the lost and need help! We must change people’s minds about this because this is a life or death issue for our addicts!

The goal of this song, ‘Somebody’s Child’, is to raise awareness about a disease that has become a national crisis that claims the lives of 174 human beings every day. There is no outrage, no protests, just stigma and silence. If we all rise and use our voices, if we speak loud and clear about it, the hope is that we can make people understand that, rather than letting all these children become more invisible, shamed, or forgotten, we can collectively vie for better resources, education, and further research for finding a cure so we can end the attrition of these trapped human beings.

They need a voice to speak for them and I’ve chosen to be that voice because I believe in ‘first-do-no-harm‘, and so with my voice, I can further the work to save my daughter, your daughter, your son, your brother or sister or your friend. I believe this song can unlock the door for others going through this terrible disease so they can finally see, the time has come for them to stand up and scream—WE NEED HELP TO FIND A CURE FOR ADDICTION!

So, who knows? Life can be funny, you know.

Sometimes change can start with something as simple as a SONG!

@Woodward Avenue Records

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Have you ever given serious thought to all of the goodness in your life, of all the beautiful things surrounding you, of all the wonderful people who have touched your life and made you a better person than you ever thought you could be?

If I had to judge my life, warts and all, I guess I’d have to say, “I’m winning” because I choose ‘win’ and let ‘lose’ go find its home elsewhere! ‘LOSE’ is no one’s friend. ‘LOSE’ is just another word for self-harm fueled by disrespect for yourself and for why you are here on this earth. ‘LOSE’ crushes hope, and without hope, life can suck the big one! There is not one person in the world that was born to live a life of grief or despair, even though both of those things touch our lives here and there.

I take stock of my life every now and then, more ‘now’ and less ‘then’ because every day when I wake up, I know I have another opportunity to leave the world and people, better than I found it or them! I have total control to turn myself on or turn myself off, just like a light switch. What I choose determines how my day will go. I will either serve my purpose or ignore my instincts. It’s about choices to better the world or let the world simmer in its own juices.

What that boils down to is that I’m going to give or I’m going to take. Giving is always my first choice because, through things I have suffered and survived, I have discovered this little gift of being able to listen to people’s suffering and can pinpoint the opportunities where the silver linings are present and actually working for them because they are there! You just may not see them yourself because you’ve placed your focus on what is wrong in your life instead of what is right in your life. When you decide ‘I can’t even’ rather than ‘what the hell, I’ve got nothing to lose’, it’s kind of hard to strike the match that wants to light the way for you! We’re all guilty of this sometimes because we believe we have no control over our circumstances! I’m here to tell you something you maybe forgot along the way – YOU DO HAVE CONTROL – and really, what your biggest downfall is, is not recognizing that, not honoring who and what and where and why you are here right now!

Just the fact that you woke up today is an honor even if you are filled with a disease of the body or a disease of the mind. Each day is a gift, an opportunity to find your silver linings and give them the respect they deserve because, when you do that, happiness arrives and edges out despair. That happiness crowds your soul, and when you keep adding to that crowd, you have no other option except to realize all those wonderful happy things you’re amassing, are turning happy into JOY, and JOY defeats burdens!

Your work should not be to consider all that brings you pain and fear. Your real work should be to consider all things and people who donate to your crowdfunding JOY center. When you take a good, honest, look around you, when you pause and let each of those happy moments knit themselves together rather than watching the world spin out of control around you, something inside of you will click. That click can be a subtle feeling of calm or a massive epiphany. Something in that click will change your perspective and allow you to celebrate the only moment you need. That moment is called NOW! Not yesterday! Not tomorrow! Just right now, with the very breath you are taking.

Right NOW is all any of us gets! What you do with this moment defines what your world really can look like.

If JOY is what you’re searching for, then please, step away from your pity party! Take a deep cleansing breath, let your shoulders relax, and let all those ‘what if’s’ that have no place in NOW, fade away!  Accept that risk is an adventure – not an adversity! Challenge yourself to stay focused on creating more good than bad.

When you take control of this very moment, your ‘NOW’ moment, you have the opportunity to reinvent the perception of how good your life really is or can be!

Are you ready for that?

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Learn And Grow

Satisfy yourself

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Morning Joe #64


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Morning Joe #63

Morning Joe #63

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