‘It’ comes looking for you.
You can’t sleep.
You feel ‘It’!
‘It’ feels wrong.
You don’t know what ‘It’ is.
You don’t know what ‘It’ isn’t.
‘It’…is just there.
You think it’s just the wind making the curtains billow as the moon casts shadows, making things go bump in the night. You know it’s the Boogeyman, the one you created in your mind, coming for you…and you accept that.
It’s better than being alone.
It’s that, you know, misery loves company thing!
Sometimes that darkness surrounding you comes seemingly out of nowhere. It bathes you in fear and tangles your nerves like uncared for wool. It makes reasoning feel like you’re trying to fly without wings. The Boogeyman hold’s the spoon that stirs the pot, the cauldron of emotional turmoil you’re so set in. It seeps and swirls around in your head, locking out any possibility of hope or resolution.
Sometimes that darkness feels like someone has their hands wrapped around your neck and their grip grows tighter and you can’t breath. You’re suffocating.
Sometimes, mostly…it’s your own hands that try to take you out because the fear is all you can see, feel, comprehend, because it all seems like too much for you. Sometimes it makes your imagination ignite like a fire left untended, out of control, blazing through you with such intensity it forces you into action against something that has yet to happen…because of what?
Because you are thriving inside your imagination…because, you gave up.
You threw in the towel.
You’ve become too weary to battle it alone anymore.
You’ve grown accustomed to how the Boogeyman looks.
You’re just plain old too fucking tired to care anymore!
And so ‘It’ wins!
You surrender to it because the work to alter ‘It’ feels like too much all the time…too much, too much, too much!
But what if?
What if you remembered to batten down the hatches?
To lock the window?
What if you bolted the door to the ‘what if’s’ of your imagination so there was no entry point for anything or anyone, especially the Boogeyman?
You can do this you know!
You have that power!
You always have, but somehow, somewhere along the way, you lost focus of that!
It’s only six little letters but it’s a big, big, big fucking word.
It clatters around inside you like the shackles you bear, flittering around in your head, but in fear, you keep swatting it away like a pesky fly!
Why? Why? Why?
Is it the work you fear?
Does letting go of something scare you?
Change is easy if you allow it to be!
You know this to your core, but you shy away because that one tiny ounce of distrust in yourself, in your choices, based solely on your past, holds your wings hostage, and so you remain grounded for no other reason than you very own inaction.
You are the author of your life story.
If you don’t like how it reads, if your story hurts you, if it keeps you in pain, if it will not allow you to experience the immense joy you are searching for, the immense joy you deserve, maybe it’s time, your time, to start the rewrite!
Second chances are free.
Second chances are choose able.
Second chances are a gift you can give yourself…
if you want something better!
Today is a good day to start your rewrite!
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
So have at it…